So, I’ve decided to change the outlook of my blog to a simpler theme. With so many things at hand, I find it quite impossible to come up with long posts that I am quite well known for (ehems) so I’d like to make things shorter and simpler and this is probably the right theme for now. I used to be able to write a blog post so effortlessly probably because I had all the time in the world to do all the thinking and put them into writing right on the spot. But then, I’m afraid that has to change now. My life needs a little bit of adjustment. There are just so many things that I have to squeeze into this little head of mine so I can’t really put them into my writings as easily and effortlessly as I used to. Uhuks.
I’ve been quite busy lately, I mean, I’ve always been busy but these past few months have been quite a few notches up. My times have been pre-occupied by all these things surrounding this pursuit for a master in research that I’m doing now, so much so that I’d find myself breaking my back trying to dig for research materials whenever possible or I’d get swept away before I could even catch up with this ever flowing thing called time, and sometimes I’d find myself spending long long hours in front of my lap top trying to do whatever I can do before the next presentation (or I’d end looking so stupid without nothing much to present out in front of my professors). One thing about doing a research is that, there are always deadlines to meet. I have no choice but making myself get used to it.
And then, there are quite a number of people that I have to deal with almost constantly like my supervisors (lecturers) and dealing with these people are not that easy. These people are academicians so I like to believe that they have a very high level of intelligence. These are the people who know pretty much about everything, at least in the fields that they are experts in. But then, after dealing with them for quite some time, I have come to discover that they are just human beings. Things can slip off their minds too and I have to put these things back into their heads especially those things that concern me and my research. Heh.
I mean, I’m a working adult now so the approach is different from the time when I was still an innocent undergrad student back at the university. Back then, I couldn’t even look straight into their eyes. I’d go into their rooms with my shoulders intentionally slumped down so that they might sympathize and think twice before spraying bullets at me. I remember when I was doing my final year thesis and I came to office of my supervisor – a highly respected professor in the country – and he threw my thesis progress report to the floor and shouted “YOU ARE FAILED! YOU CAN PACK YOU BAGS NOW AND GO HOME”. I really didn’t understand what he meant by packing my bags and leave but then I was so shocked I couldn’t even say a word. In fact, I found myself shaking. I left with a lot of things going on in my mind.
I was in my final year so failing the paper means I had to extend another semester at the university. The mere thought of missing the next convo which means another long year of being a student was just unbearable (I was so eager to start working!). I couldn’t even sleep for days. Of course I returned to him with a pledge to do the best I could to drag things up to his expectations. And I did keep my word even though it meant I had to spend many days of sleepless nights that there were times when I began to hallucinate from staying up for too long, even more than 46 hours straight. That was probably the only time when I saw ghosts. They looked so real I really thought I could almost touch them. Jeez!
I passed the paper in flying colors and I told myself never to put myself into such a situation ever again. Then I found myself doing this master in research which seems to almost certainly bring me back to that situation again, hopefully, oh gosh hopefully, to a much lesser extent. Uhuks.
Of course, that story with my professor happened more than 10 years ago. Now that I’m a working adult with quite a number of years of working experience tucked neatly under my belt, I’d find myself talking and joking and laughing with my supervisors say, at a McDonald’s for hours and I’d even pay for the food so you know how people are gonna react and treat you when you pay for their food – lecturer or not lecturer. It does make a difference (I hope they won’t by any chance read this. LOL). I can even ask if they’d ever find the time to have sex with their wives with so many lecturing and supervising works at hand. I mean, literally because we are talking about an adult-to-adult conversation here. LOL.
Busy might my days be, I try as much as I can to find the fun in all the things that I do now. I mean, it’s not easy to stay positive all the time – it has its ups and downs – and not that I have not been warned about it before I took this challenge (my favorite word nowadays), in fact all of this was not unexpected, but then I have come to discover that there’s always fun in everything that we do if we know how to find it. For now, I’m just gonna do what I have to do and finish what I have started. Positivity is the keyword here right. Heh.
Bringing you to a totally different topic (although quite co-related, anything that has to do with time is related), jeez, I can’t believe it’s almost halfway through 2015 and I haven’t traveled to anywhere other than Sandakan! Not only I haven’t traveled, I haven’t even participated in any running event! How can I ever declare myself a real traveler and an avid runner if I haven’t traveled and run for 4 months in a row? I feel so ashamed that I feel like bitch-slapping myself when I come to think of it.
But then, I might get the chance to change that soon when I join the Kemensah Krazy Run next weekend and the 3R Putrajaya Marathon the weekend after – a gamble that I took blindly because I knew I wouldn’t be able to find the time to do all the training even for a half marathon, let alone a full. But then I always keep in mind that it’s always about having fun and there is no pressure in joining any of these runs. Getting to the starting line is a thing and finishing the run is another. I keep telling that to everybody.
For me it’s always about getting to the starting line first and whether I finish or not is another thing. I don’t pressure myself. I can always stop, flag a taxi down and go home, except that I’ve never really done that ever before. LOL! I don’t know if my ego is too big to do that but I’d usually find myself walking and walking has proved to be good enough to bring me back to the finish line without really breaking a sweat. Heh.
Talking about traveling, I do have a few places in mind – or rather a few countries. It’s almost certain that I’m flying off to Lombok next month after a series of bitter postponement. And yes, I don’t have to tell you what I’m gonna do there because it think it’s a very easy guess. Then I’m gonna go back to Sabah for my annual balik kampong holiday to coincide with the Harvest Festival. Then I might go to some mountain again which I can’t really confirm now because I am not even sure if I’d ever get a leave with my research coming into its most critical part.
This year, as I’ve been telling everybody, is full of uncertainties. In fact, I had to say no to a few invitations to travel together because I don’t want to put myself in a situation where I have to cancel it at the very last minute. It happened before which was quite a big mistake to me personally because I were the one who asked that friend to come with me so doing a mistake once is a lesson but doing it twice is a stupidity. I don’t even know what to call it when I do a stupidity twice. LOL.
So – no solid plans for now. Let’s see how things would go.
Opppss, this is not really a short post after all. Heh. ZZZZZZZ.
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