Another Year Older

So, today is my birthday anniversary. Don’t ask how old I am now. It doesn’t really matter. In a conservative environment, people would raise their eyebrows when they know that I am still not married at this age. It’s not really so much of an issue back in Sabah or at least in the town that I came from where the trend of late-marriages is quite normal.

I’ve got many friends, cousins and relatives who are still not married at about the same age as mine. Some got married because they got somebody pregnant. Some got married because – well – living in a small town or a village with nothing much to do, what else can they do right? Starting a family to complete the circle of life as they call it.

Here in the Peninsular of Malaysia especially among Malays, somehow people tend to give me the surprised look when I tell them that I am still not married. May be they’d think that I’m either impotent or gay. Their judging looks would linger on me for awhile. I am so used to it now so it doesn’t bother me as much it used to.

The fact is, I might have dated more girls than most of them had. I just did not live a traditional life. I could simply get married and if I’m lucky enough, have kids and splash their pictures all over facebook every now and then as if people do really care in the world about how they look.

But that was not quite the plan. There are times when I don’t see the need of getting married apart from the privilege of having sex that is religiously legal and probably investing in children so that there’d be somebody to take care of me when I am too old to take care of myself.

Source : http://sacredembrace.org/2013/01/26/love-for-the-long-haul-by-susan-vogt/old-couple-in-love/

Most people get married to fulfill the need for companionship. I see the points – crystal clear. But the question is – am I ready for the lifetime commitment? As a Catholic, I’m only allowed to get married once in life. There’s no turning point. Once I am in, I am in for the rest of my life – unless of course my spouse dies.  In today’s world, male spouses are known to die earlier than their female partners so the chances of getting married again are very slim. Heh.

I do enjoy my life now. Probably too much.  I’m surrounded by wonderful people. I’ve never run out of friends to hang out with over weekends. May be I don’t quite see the beauties in a marriage unless I get married myself. I’ll leave that to be discovered when the time has come.

May be I can simply say that I am not ready. The fact that I’ve got quite a number of friends who engage in extra-marital affairs doesn’t help much either. They seem to take pride in their ability to take somebody to bed without their wives finding out about it. Ironically, they are the ones who keep telling me that I should be married by now. Heh. What a funny world we are living in.

I was born with so many things that I wanted to fulfill in life. I’d blame it on all the reading that I did when I was a kid. As I grew older, I had found out that while not all of them were doable, most of them actually were (doable).

I’d take traveling for an example. I used to believe that was born in the wrong corner of the world, that I was supposedly born to a farming family somewhere in England – or probably Switzerland. I’d write letters to an imaginary uncle of mine, whom I called Uncle John.

I’d imagine myself walking across a hayfield, in the direction of a jingling bell from a nearby church. I’d imagine it was spring when all the flowers were blossoming. I’d stop to catch my breath, inhaling the freshness of the air and the smell of the flowers.

Of course I never got to meet this Uncle John, because he did not exist. But I did however fulfill my dream of walking across a hay-field. In Spring. 😛 And of course, I had come to terms with the fact that I was born in Sabah, on the North of Borneo Island – something that I am so proud of now that I know how lucky I actually was.

But one travel trip had started it all. It had sparked the interest in doing more and more travel trips. There’s something so fulfilling about striking something off the bucket list every time I returned home from a travel trip. It just feels so wonderful.

But through my personal observation, those who travel a lot tend to get married late. You see, there’s a saying among travelers that when you travel, your priorities change. You’ll see at life from a different perspective and view.

I know a few friends who called off their weddings because they were not ready to give up traveling over a marriage. Of course you can still travel when you are married but it won’t be the same – or so they say.

So, am I ready to give up traveling? The answer is NO. I might get old traveling.

For now, I’ll just enjoy life all the things that come with it.

For now, I’ll just enjoy the new age of mine and thank God for all the blessings that he has showered me with.

How old was I again? Never mind. It doesn’t really matter 🙂