A Personal Lesson from a Car Accident

Sometimes the best lessons come from the worse of situations. I actually got involved in a little bit of accident not so long time ago. I was driving back home after sending my friend to his hotel on the other side of the city. I was a lil bit drunk, but I was doing alright. It was 4 in the morning so I guess it was more of sleepiness than alcohol intoxication that made it happen. To make stories short, I bumped into another car at a traffic light. It must be quite a hard one because I could feel my car tremble and the bang was loud enough to bring me back to being fully awake again.

I went out of the car and prepared for whatever that might come next. I waited and a man came out of the other car, walked over to me in a hasty pace and I was prepared to defend myself in case he’d hit out at me or something. So, closer and closer he came and I stood my ground, my hands ready. When he was close enough, what he said to me was totally unexpected.

“Are you alright?” he asked, looking more concerned than angry – which relieved and confused me at the same time. “I hope you are alright” he said further – which made me even more confused. “I’m sorry” I said, truly to what I really felt at that time. “It’s ok. Accidents happen. It’s not that you did it on purpose anyway” he said very calmly.

We checked on his car and later mine. His was a Peugeot and mine was – well – Made in Malaysia – so I don’t have to say which got the most damage. As if owing me some explanation as to why he is on the road at 4 in the morning, he told me that he was on this way home from a hospital after sending his little son who suddenly fell sick in the middle of the night.

“He was shocked but he’s alright”, he said as if trying to calm me down instead of himself. “I really am sorry” I said again. “It’s OK. But to tell the truth, you were lucky because it was me who came out to you instead of my wife. She wanted to go out just now but I asked her not to. And believe me, you wouldn’t want to deal with her” he said, chuckling as he said it. I didn’t have to look at his car to know that his wife was there inside the car too.

 “Look, it’s four in the morning and I’m sure you want to go home too. Let’s meet up tomorrow to talk about this” I said while taking out my ID so that he could take a pic of it. I gave him my contact number and said goodbye to each other.

Somehow I feel like I really learned a very big lesson from that guy that morning. He had a little kid (who was sick) inside that car when I rammed into it and yet he was very calm and composed when he approached me. It made me feel ashamed of the way I react to others in probably much lesser strenuous situations.

You see – again, the best lessons in life come from the most undesirable situations. Perhaps, Epictetus really put it best when he said – It’s not about what happens to you but how you react to it that matters.

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Across Many Mountains

So, I have finally finished reading Across Many Mountains – a book based on the true story of a Tibetan family who had to leave their peaceful lives at a beautiful monastery in Tibet to flee the oppression inflicted upon them and the people of Tibet by the Chinese regime. The first few chapters of the book narrate mostly about the early life of Kunsang – from the day she was born until she was left orphaned at a very young age. It really is a heart-breaking story right from the beginning and almost to the end. IT is a happy ending in the end but all the suffering that Kunsang has to endure before THAT happy ending really made me choke in tears several times (well, almost). LOL.

When Kunsang’s parents died, she had to live the life of a nomad, going from one place to another before she decided to go with a group of monks and nuns touring from one village to another to do their spiritual tasks. Well, to make a long story short, after so many obstacles and signs, she decided to stick to a highly respected spiritual leader by the name of Ape Rinpoche and settled at the hermitage that he is based at. It is there that he met Tsering – a monk at the monastery – with whom she fell in love and later had a secret relationship with.

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They managed to keep their secret relationship until they (accidently) had a child together. The child died, unfortunately, and since there was no condom at that time, came a second who also died of an unknown disease.  But then, in a very conservative Buddhist community that they were in, they didn’t really believe in diseases. Instead, they accepted it as more of a fate and for which they have to do all kind of rituals to ask for kindness from gods to help them heal and recover miraculously and magically. After all, at a time when doctors and modern medications were still not in existence, they had no other to turn to but the gods.

I remember how the third child – who was then the mother of the author of this book since she was the 3rd generation and Kunsang was the first – almost died from a mysterious disease too. Not wanting to lose another child, she carried her child to travel across many mountains and in the snow to go to a holy lake called Basum Tso and skirted around that very big lake – summoning all her strength and will – and managed to do four rounds within four days as required by the ritual, half the time taken by most other pilgrims. That part alone – along with so many other parts within that story – is a very beautiful rendition of love from a mother to a child.

Well, reading through all the description about the hermitage and the surroundings – high mountains, deep valleys, colorful flowers, white snow, pines, birds etc – I could only imagine how beautiful it must be up there at that time. I was made to play with my imagination quite a lot as I read further and further into the story and I gotta say I had goosebumps every now and then.

Tibet Illusration

Source : http://hardyguardy.deviantart.com/art/Tibet-172410391

But above all, it was the part of the story when they had to walk across Himalayas that really made me go OMG. The sheer challenges and obstacles that they had to go through while distancing away from the fast approaching Chinese troops made my heart race almost uncontrollably that I had to stop several times to gasp for air. It really was – nerve-wrecking, as if I was there among them running away from the Chinese troops and stumbling in the snow every now and then while doing it. When they finally made it to the Indian border, I felt so relieved I almost cried. Seriously, I was so damn relieved! I really thought it was over for them, that they were finally in good hands, but no. The suffering did not end there. In fact, it became worse. But I’m afraid you may have to read this book to know what happened next. LOL.

This book really taught me a lot about things – especially about Buddhism and Tibetan cultures. The complexity is unbelievable and yet it is full of beauties. I am delighted to learn a lot about veganism, something that I’ve been so interested in for quite some time now.

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Apart from that of course is about the history of Tibet and how China came into picture and things. I wouldn’t really go any deeper into it because it has always been and still is a very sensitive subject. But I still hope that things will get better for Tibetan people.

Oh well, Tibet has always been in my bucketlist – but of course after reading this book my interest in making my way to this amazing country has doubled if not tripled so I may find myself going there sooner than later. Then there are some other places that I had never heard of before I read this book especially places on the north of India which is to me one of the most mysterious parts of the whole world. I can only name Shimla for a starter but there are many other places that are described in this book so – it is quite a long list.

So now, I’m moving to another book called The Road to Wanting by Wendy Law-Yone, a book I bought in Yangoon. There was another book called The Native Tourist by a Ma Thanegi but I found it too straight forward and boring and decided to dump it after a few chapters.

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People of The Land

I’ve always been an avid reader of Air Asia’s in-flight magazine Travel 3Sixty. This article they featured on November 2015 issue is one of the best so far – narrating the experience of the magazine’s editorial visit to Tebedu near Kuching in Sarawak. The idea of a visit came about when a school teacher named Larrie Jessika wrote to Travel 3Sixty to apologize for stealing a copy of the magazine because he really wanted to share the stories about the out-side world to his students, many of whom had never experienced the world beyond their small town.

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Not only an apology was happily granted, the magazine even sent an editorial team to pay him and his students a visit and featured them on this widely read magazine! A very beautiful narration of the Bidayuh community in Tebedu and the inspiring life of a dedicated teacher who has creatively used a travel magazine to inspire his students. I like! But just in case you were wondering – the answer is no. I didn’t steal the copy. I left it where I found it. 😛

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Padang – The Land of Minangkabau

So, there’s this place called Padang that I went to as part of my trip to West Sumatra recently. It was more like the access point to Mount Kerinci – the highest volcano in Indonesia for which we went to West Sumatra but it wasn’t after the climb that we got to explore this beautiful coastal city.

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Padang is not really that big and obviously less busy compared to – say – Kuta in Bali and probably Surabaya in East Java (I haven’t been to many places in Indonesia anyway). But still it is big and quite densely populated just like most other major cities in Indonesia. We stayed at a nice budget hotel called Brigitte’s House which was recommended to us by our mountain guide Mr. Rapani. I was told how most hotels in Padang are quite expensive but I didn’t really get to check any of them out.

Padang is known for having the largest Minangkabau community – one of so many ethnic groups in Indonesia. I had heard a lot about this very unique ethnic group ever since I was a kid so it was so exciting to come to the epicenter of their culture.

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We went to visit the museum that showcases the unique culture of Minangkabau people. The building itself is already unique to Minangkabau which is famous for its horn-shaped roof. Of course the core of all the uniqueness to me is the fact that they practice matrilineal culture in which the ownership of properties – their homes, rice paddies and the like – are passed down from mothers to daughters and it is the men that leave their homes and stay with the ladies instead of the other way around. To put it simply, the ladies have the advantages over the men which is why I am so glad that I wasn’t born to a Minangkabau family.  Heh.

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Another thing that is very much associated with Padang is the famous story of Malim Kundang (also known as Tanggang in Malaysia) which is about an ungrateful son who was cursed into a stone by his own mother. According to the story – which is more like folklore – even the whole ship had turned into stones.

The remains of the ship are said to be still there lying there on a beach called Pantai Manis so we were not going to miss checking them out while we were there. After asking around and riding through a grueling series of ups and downs across hillside villages (really really scary!), we managed to get there still in one piece. The remains might look quite ancient now but the story about Malim Kundang will always be a good reminder that we should never betray our parents and forget where we came from. Ouch. Lol.

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One of the things that I instantly noticed when I was in Padang was that the villages look very much like Malay villages that we have back in Malaysia. It was so much so that I had to remind myself over and over again that I was in West Sumatra and not in Kedah or something. There are suraus and mosques everywhere and even the people look very much alike you wouldn’t be able to tell if somebody is from Indonesia or Malaysia, not before they speak up at least.

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Another place that I HAD to go to while I was in Pandang had Teluk Bayur for a name. Well, you may remember this place for an Indonesian classic song called ‘Teluk Bayur’, which was named after this this very place. I mean, I remember listening and singing to this song when I was a kid. It was very popular at wedding parties back in my kampung and even at those little celebrations and parties that we’d have every now and then during which people would play guitar while singing this very song. I’d hum to this song every time I was leaving for the Peninsular because the lyrics sounded just so right to the situation that I was in. Heh. And of course, I couldn’t help thinking about how this place called Teluk Banyur in real. When I knew that it was in Padang, I knew I had to go there and see for myself.

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IT was apparently a beautiful bay with a road that stretches along the coastal line. The whole bay itself is dominated by a marine port and some fishing villages that reminded me very much of those squatter areas on the East coast of Sabah in Malaysia. We stopped and parked our bike on the side of the coastal road to join dozens of locals in savoring the beauty of sunset over Teluk Banyur. It was quite cloudy but it was beautiful nevertheless. I even took a video of myself singing that song live right there – but I don’t think I’m going to post it here anyway. LOL.

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We were there during the Aidil Adha holiday so there wasn’t really much going on. Even the eateries were mostly closed but we managed to find a stall on the seaside and had Maggie goreng for breakfast. Of course there’s always something so good and relaxing about having breakfast while looking out at the vastness of the blue sea.

Padang was quite of a surprise to me because I didn’t really expect much from it. But then again, Indonesia is full of surprises. I keep telling that to everybody.  It’s always worth to go back to over and over again.

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Keep Climbing

DSC05630b“Every mountain top is within reach if you just keep climbing”

– Barry Finlay

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